International Flatulence Day

    Well, whyever not? There's an international day for everything under the sun, so it seems to me that flatulence shouldn't and must not be overlooked.
  Yesterday was International Women's Day... everyone kept talking about women's achievmentes, women's rights, women's lefts and women's behinds. There were congratulatory posts on FB, on Twitter, on the radio, on TV and Presidents gave moving speeches about how important women are to a country.
  Not to be a spoilsport but gimme a fucking break (really - I need some... LOL okay, bad joke) but, after talking about women's lib for forty years, quite frankly it's getting a little old. Isn't it about time that someone talked about an individual's right? Why must we keep encasing everyone in tidy little niches? The world simply doesn't work that way, mah frehns.
  I was listening to some poll results and two things that caught my attention were that whatever percentage of women asked their husbands for permission to go out alone at night. Then there was the other percentage who asked their husbands before going on the pill.
  Firstly, it seems to me that it's simply good manners to let your husband know your plans and check if he agrees with them; after all, you DO  live together and he might have an opinion, particularly in Mexico, where things are so out of whack. I don't consider myself ground under by anyone and I always ask my husband if he minds my doing this or that... after all, he does have to babysit when I leave and, frankly, he has as much of a right to be exhausted as I do.
  Secondly, OF COURSE you have to talk to your husband whether to go on the pill or not. I mean, this is a decision that concerns two. Maybe he wants to have a kid, maybe he doesn't, but it's only right that you ask how he feels about the subject. It would be as bad, I think, as going OFF the pill without consulting him first. It's simply a matter of being considerate to your mate.
  And that brings me to the other issue that bothers me, honestly, a hell of a lot more than the others. I keps hearing the word "equal" touted about everywhere yesterday. "Equal rights", "equal opportunities", "equal salary", "equal say" etc...
  That sounds very nice, doesn't it? Sure it does... just like communism on paper, or Thomas Moore's Utopia, it sounds ideal. However, as the human race is nowhere near ideal, again, it doesn't work that way. It seems to me that a great many women have mistaken the meaning of the word "equal" with "my way or the courtroom" and that, pray tell, in what way is equal?
  We have been overtaken by hordes of very, very feminine emasculators. There's nothing butch about them and quite a few could be mistaken for a Barbie doll, but they're noxious nonetheless. These are the women who will sue a company for not hiring them, regardless of the fact that the guy they did hire was much better prepared than she. The women who are offended by a compliment and accuse someone of harrassing them if they're told they have pretty eyes. The ones who will bark at some guy because he opened a door for her "I have my own hands!" Yes, and very nicely manicured they are, too.
  I must confess, I was once such a teenager and, let me tell you, thank the ruling powers that I grew out of it! How can we demand of men to be gentlemen if we're not ladies? I mean, they need something to work with, and we're not giving it to them. Our generation, to my point of view, has been cheated, both men and women. Not only have we lost gentlemen but we have lost something indefinable that our grandmothers had, some of our mothers have and we don't.
  How so? Simple: we swallowed the "women's lib" hook, line and sinker. I ask you: how, exactly were we liberated? Now we have MORE to do. A lot of women seem to think that being Superwoman is the only road to personal fulfillment. And that comes from the so-touted "You can have it all!"
  Most certainly we can have it all... what they forgot to add was: "In due time." What I mean by this is that most women seem to think they ought to do it all AT THE SAME TIME. Not so. As the Bible says, "To everything there is a season and a time for everything." And don't ask for the verse number because I haven't the slightest idea. The point is that we have a generation of women who were brought up to believe that a non-working woman was worthless and men who don't know what to do with them because they were brought up to think that THEY were supposed to bring the bacon home - not cook it. But, if he's bringing home the bacon and she's bringing home the bacon, then we have a truckload of bacon that's going to spoil.
  The "spoiled bacon" brings to mind the "spoiled brats." When kids arrive, so does a conundrum. Many women don't want to stay at home and raise their kids. After all, they're career women! What do you mean I have to put my career at a standstill to bring forth a decent, law-abiding human being? Not on your life; that's why God invented day-care or nannies, take your pick. I've heard a lot of women say that it's "all they can do to get home and start dinner," while at the same time they complain that they don't know why their kids don't have better table manners, or why they won't turn in their homework, or where they hell they learned THAT word. Hmm... I wonder if later they'll wonder where their kid got the gun to shoot half the school cafeteria to death.
  Of course, I'm being very dramatic and I know it; but take the little things: nobody teaches manners anymore, for example. I was recently horrified by a little segment called "Let's Educate the Crocodile", which is about precisely that - teaching a crocodile manners. What they do is put this crocodile and his eightish or so owner in different situations and give the kids at home two options as to how the croc ought to behave, then "ding-ding-ding" the correct choice. What's horrifying, of course, is not the show but the apparent need for it. Or think back to the last time you sat at a restaurant and were disgusted because the little kid at the next table had his pasta smeared all over his face, his clothes, the tablecloth and most likely a sibling. Very likely that same sibling was chewing with her mouth opened while she whined that she didn't like the food and whats-his-name was getting pasta all over her pretty pink overalls.
In my opinion, THAT is what most working mothers translate to. Snotty kids with no manners, no respect for others (beginning with their parents) and not a clue how to behave, in public or otherwise.
    I do know women who actually perform this feat daily: they work, look after their house, look after their kids, have a great marriage and even manage to find time for themselves. Well, I actually only know one. She's amazing and I consider myself fortunate to call her friend. I know more women who do these same things but they have housekeepers (bless them!) which in no way takes away from their efforts.
  I'm not saying there's anything wrong with women joining the workforce, quite the opposite. But if we're all in the workforce at once... well, what happens to the home? I'm not saying we all have to turn into Martha Stewart but I am saying that SOMEONE needs to stay home and teach the kids what's wrong and what's right (provided they know it themselves, of course). Note that I'm not saying it's WOMEN who need to stay home... I once knew a Mr. Mom who did very well with his choice, thank you very much.
  It seems to me that it has been proven (several times over) that most women not only can be equal to men, they can surpass them, just as a lot of men can surpass a lot of women. I don't think this is an issue of "I'm a woman/man so I'm superior"; I think it's an issue of "my name is whatever and I've proven myself more capable than him/her." Nobody is superior because of their sex, race, creed or brand of soda. An individual is better or worse for him or herself.
  So now that the workforce has been taken over by capable women, I think it's time to look towards the home front, which is daily losing ground. If a couple decides to have children, then they need to decide who's gonna stay home and cook the infamous bacon. It doesn't matter who it is, that's for the couple to decide. What's important is that the next generation isn't brought up by TV, thinking real life is a sitcome - or worse, a videogame.
  As I said before, I was a working woman when I was first married; this arrangement, however, stopped being just the thing when the kids came. So I stopped working and began feeling guilty... it wasn't fair that I left all the economic burden to him! After all, wasn't I a trained teacher? I could get a great job at some company or other and bring in my share of the bacon again. After all, my mom was there to cook it.
  So I got a job teaching English at a hotel... and the guilt increased tenfold because I wasn't there to raise my kid. I missed his first words, his first steps and he started calling my mother "mom". That did it. After due consideration, I decided that my son was more important than any sense of uselessness I might be suffering from and he DESERVED to have his mother with him.
  Today I have two kids and, as many of you know, am so bored I'm starting to tear my hair out... (or cut it off) but I know I made the right choice. The second my youngest goes into school, I'm getting a part-time job. Then, as they grow, so will I augment working hours. So I will have it all... in my own good time.